July 6: What does the Bible say about sex?

Hi, my name is Michael Schulte. I'm the pastor here at The Collective. Whether you're worshiping with us in the pews or watching online, we’re so glad you’re here.

No one belongs here more than you.

Today we continue our summer sermon series, The Bible, the Birds, and the Bees. Our big question: What does the Bible say about sex?

So I thought, let’s go straight to the source. We’ve got this big old Bible that sits on the lectern—what does it have to say? Let’s ask.

[Holding Bible] “Bible, what do you say about sex?”

It says... nothing.

This isn’t a gimmick. I want to be really clear—the Bible does not say anything about sex. It’s an inanimate object. When we say the Bible says something, we’re speaking metaphorically.

Remember the principles for biblical interpretation we laid out earlier this summer: the Bible is a product of its social context, and it’s interpreted through the lens of the reader. The Bible does not speak. We do.

We are the interpretive community. And our cultural values, our thought patterns, even outdated beliefs about the human body—all of these influence how we read the Bible, especially when it comes to sex.

Fifteen years ago, I was a card-carrying member of the Purity Culture crew. I read passages like 1 Corinthians 6—

“Do you know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Fornicators, idolaters, male prostitutes, sodomites... none of these will inherit the kingdom of God.”

Or verses that say, “The body is not meant for fornication but for the Lord,” or “If you’re unmarried, practice self-control and do not engage in sex.”

I read these and thought: Abstinence only. That’s the lifestyle for me. And I lived that way for decades.

In college, I left my Christian high school for a secular campus and was asked to be on a panel about sex and religion. I didn’t want to do it, but they told me they couldn’t think of anyone else who could speak kindly from a conservative perspective.

I don’t remember what I said. But I remember what our college chaplain said:

“I do not believe the Bible has one clear sexual ethic.”

I had two thoughts. First: clearly, she didn’t pay attention to Paul in her New Testament class. Second: I would never attend the theological school she did.

Spoiler alert: not only did I attend that school, she wrote my letter of recommendation.

Back then, I couldn’t understand her position. I was taught:

1. Sex is a gift from God.

2. Sex should include pleasure.

3. Sex is meant for the marital covenant.

4. That covenant is between one man and one woman.

5. All sex should be procreative.

6. Contraceptives demonstrate a lack of trust in God.

7. Premarital sex is sinful.

8. Once you lose your virginity, you're damaged goods.

That was the ethic I grew up with. And together, these beliefs form what we now call purity culture.

Today, instead of laying out a new authoritative framework, I want to show two things:

1. The Bible lacks a single, clear sexual ethic.

2. We can introduce principles—grounded in scripture and informed by our cultural realities—that help us make spiritually aligned decisions.

Let’s Start with Paul

Paul’s teachings have had an outsized influence on Christian sexual ethics. He was shaped by Greco-Roman thought, especially Stoic philosophy, which viewed sexual desire as irrational and disruptive. The Stoics advocated sex without passion—only for procreation.

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul responds to a slogan from the Corinthian church: “It is well for a man not to touch a woman.” He says marriage is permissible only to avoid adultery and sexual immorality. He encourages people to remain unmarried like him, unless they cannot control their passion.

Paul does not frame marriage as sacred, but as an antidote to lust. He presents a hierarchy—celibacy is the ideal, marriage is for those who are too weak to be celibate.

This mindset influenced second-century movements like Christian asceticism, and eventually led to requirements like priestly celibacy. Scholar Dale Martin writes that most early Christians believed God required severe control, preferably celibacy.

So what does the Bible say about sex? In the early church, the best Christian sex was no sex at all.

Even today, virginity before marriage remains the normative Christian sexual ethic. But this contradicts how most Christians live. Our teachings have evolved—even in conservative traditions.

The Bible is a product of its social context.

Beyond Paul: Other Biblical Norms

• Genesis: “Be fruitful and multiply” was about increasing population, not marital love.

• Genesis 4: Lamech takes two wives without condemnation. Martin Luther later used this to justify bigamy.

• Genesis 38: Tamar is praised as “more righteous” after tricking her father-in-law into sex.

• 2 Samuel: David assaults Bathsheba and remains king.

• Ruth: Ruth uncovers Boaz’s “feet”—a sexual euphemism—before they’re married.

• Song of Songs: Erotic desire and lusty love poetry, with no mention of marriage.

The Bible presents many views of sex. It’s diverse, not singular.

So I’ve come to agree with my chaplain. There’s not one clear sexual ethic in the Bible. It’s contextual and evolving.

What Now?

I believe we can form a sexual ethic grounded in scripture, tradition, reason, and lived experience. An ethic rooted in freedom and relationality.

Here are four guiding principles:

1. Move Beyond Shame

Purity culture centered shame. But Jesus didn’t. In John 8, he says to the woman caught in adultery, “I do not condemn you.” We all make mistakes. Jesus meets us with grace.

2. Limit Harm

Genesis 1 teaches that all humans are made in the image of God. Our sex lives should honor our partners' dignity, never exploit or dehumanize them.

3. Empower Freedom and Self-Determination

Consent matters. It must be enthusiastic, repeated, and respected. Manipulation or coercion has no place in Christian sexual ethics.

4. Embrace Responsibility

1 Corinthians 6: “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are beneficial.” We must ask if our choices promote our well-being—and that of our partner. If not, it’s time to reflect and change.

Sex is messy. We make mistakes. But those mistakes don’t define us. We reflect, we grow, and we move forward in love.

The Rose

If you grew up in purity culture, you may have seen this lesson:

A pastor holds a rose. He passes it around, and by the end, it’s wilted. He asks, “Who would want this rose now?”

And then he says, “This is what happens when you lose your virginity. You are broken. Damaged. Unworthy.”

But here’s the truth:

Jesus wants that rose.

Jesus walks alongside the broken. He does not reject us. He does not shame us. He loves us without condition.

You are not defined by your virginity or lack of it. You are not damaged goods. You are not unworthy.

There is nothing—no mistake, no shame, no act—that can separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus.

You are defined not by your past, but by God's unconditional love.

That love is for you—exactly as you are.